Supporting women and children

There are several things you can do to support women and children who you know or suspect to be experiencing family violence:

Know what questions to ask

The detail of your questions will depend on how well you know the woman and what indicators you have observed. Broad questions might include: 

  • How are things at home? 
  • How are you and your partner relating?
  • Is there anything else happening that might be affecting your health?

Examples of specific questions linked to your professional observations include: 

  • You seem a bit anxious. Is everything all right at home? 
  • When I see injuries like this I wonder if someone could have hurt you. 
  • Is there anything else that we haven’t talked about that might be contributing to this condition?

Some more direct questions include: 

  • Are there ever times when you are frightened of your partner? 
  • Are you concerned about your safety or the safety of your children?
  • Do your partner's ways of treating you make you feel unhappy or depressed or bad about yourself?
  • I wonder if there’s a link between (insert illness, condition or situation) and the way your partner treats you. What do you think? 
The content in this section is adapted from Identifying family violence: a resource kit for general practitioners.
 
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Know how to refer appropriately

For women who are or might be experiencing violence, there are a range of referral options that you can familiarise yourself with.

In Victoria, see:

Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service (24 hours) - Tel (03) 9322 3555 or STD toll free 1800 015 188, or see www.wdvcs.org.au

Women's Information (WIRE) - Tel 1300 134 130 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm), or see www.wire.org.au

Centres Against Sexual Assault, including the Sexual Assault Crisis Line (24 hours) - Tel 1800 806 292, or see www.casa.org.au 

Immigrant Women's Domestic Violence Service (Mon-Fri 9:00am-5:00pm) - Tel (03) 8413 6800 or STD toll free 1800 755 988

Aboriginal Family Violence Prevention and Legal Service Victoria - Tel (03) 9654 3111 or freecall 1800 105 303

Women's Legal Service Victoria - Tel (03) 9642 0877 or toll free 1800 133 302, or see www.communitylaw.org.au/women 

or visit www.dvvic.org.au or www.dvrcv.org.au/ServicesHub/ServicesIndex.htm for more comprehensive listings of Victorian services.

www.dvrcv.org.au/ServicesHub/ServicesIndex.htm also has a listing of interstate services.

For men who are or might be using violence, contact the Men's Referral Service.

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Learn about the different options that women have

There are many options for a woman who is experiencing a partner's violent and controlling behaviour:

  • calling 000 for immediate help from police in an emergency
  • legal approaches (such as pressing criminal charges, seeking an Intervention Order)
  • leaving the relationship and her home (and going to a refuge or other safe place)
  • staying in the relationship, but requesting (or having a court order) the man to leave the home
  • continuing to live with the man and maintain the relationship
  • developing a safety plan.

You don't need to know the technicalities associated with all of these options. Indeed, it is probably preferable for you to refer appropriately to an agency that will have up-to-date information and more specialist skills. Nevertheless, it is important that you ensure women have access to appropriate information about ALL their choices, and respect those they make.

Click here for a printer-friendly brochure that outlines women's options.

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Be alert for the warning signs and effects

Read the pages Effects on women and Effects on children to learn some of the warning signs and effects of male family violence.

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Help women to make a safety plan

Women who are experiencing family violence have usually become very resourceful when it comes to looking after themselves. Acknowledging this is often a good first step towards addressing women's feelings of powerlessness and helplessness.

Preventing violence is not women's responsibility, but making a safety plan might minimise the harm she experiences if her male family member uses violence.

Violence tends to escalate (especially but not only during pregnancy or after separation), so any woman who has experienced any level of violent and controlling behaviour from a partner or ex-partner should have a safety plan.

Below are some safety tips for women. You could print them out and talk these through with women.

Safety tips for women

  • think about what you already do to protect yourself 
  • let supportive friends, family and neighbours know about what is happening
  • make sure you have a few people you can call if you are feeling unsafe (you could even give them a code word so they know to call police if you are in danger) 
  • if you feel you know the early signs that your partner might become violent, prepare an excuse so that you can leave quickly 
  • have a couple of options of safe places to go in an emergency 
  • keep a mobile phone and a list of emergency phone numbers handy 
  • make sure your children know what to do in an emergency as well 
  • have some money easily accessible 
  • consider putting originals or copies of important documents in a place where your partner can't get them 
  • cover your tracks: learn how to use the internet safely, be aware that if you have a redial button on your phone your partner can push it to find out who you just called, and hide or throw out any information that you receive about domestic violence
  • call a domestic violence service to find out more about developing a safety plan - click here for a listing of Victorian and interstate services, or call Victoria's Women's Information and Referral Exchange (WIRE) on 1300 134 130 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm), or the Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service (24 hours) on (03) 9373 0123 or STD toll free 1800 015 188.
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