Imagine this:

Your friend says, 'I have a good joke for you.' You get a little smile on your face waiting to have a good laugh but instead you hear a joke that degrades women. It describes women as incompetent, weak, constantly hysterical, or as mere sexualized body parts. Many jokes speak of horrible violence such as rape in a supposed 'light-hearted' manner. That frozen smile is still on your face but you feel very uncomfortable inside and you know that this just does not feel right. You want to say something but the rest of the guys seem to be enjoying it. They have smiles on their faces and you don’t want to be the downer of the party. But maybe, just maybe some of them are thinking the same thing you are and that smile on their face is just as uncomfortable as yours.

You've probably experienced a situation like this. In the future, what could you say?

You could try something like:

Hey, that’s actually not very funny. Too many guys joke about rape when rape is a traumatic event and a violent crime. Joking about it kind of makes us forget what it really is, and how serious it is. There’s a good chance that someone in the room has known someone close to them who has been raped or sexually assaulted.

You might be surprised at the positive support you get. If you don’t and you are told to 'lighten up' you can simply say 'I still don’t find it funny. Would you be as comfortable telling a joke about people of colour or Jews?' This is especially effective if there are men from different cultures and backgrounds in the room.

Don’t be surprised if many of them tell you 'you don’t have a sense of humour.' But at least you’ve planted the seed with these men, letting them know where you stand. Challenging men about this stuff may be a difficult thing to do but it’s worth it, knowing you’re doing your part to create a world where ending violence against women is taken seriously and sexism and violence are no longer a laughing matter.

And every time you do it, it gets a little easier!

Some of the text on this page has been reproduced or adapted from material supplied by the White Ribbon Campaign in Canada. We thank the White Ribbon Campaign for generously allowing us to use their material. For information on Australia's White Ribbon Day, see Get involved in White Ribbon Day.