Hesitating?

We understand that for some men, calling the Men’s Referral Service is a big step. If you're experiencing any of the thoughts or feelings below, click on the text to read more.

Fear of what the telephone counsellor will think

Our telephone counsellors are trained and experienced in talking with men about the issues they are experiencing. They're on the phones because they want to support men to get the help they need to change. They won't set out to judge you.

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Not sure that you have a problem

Calling the Men’s Referral Service can be a starting point. You don't have to think or be sure that there's a problem.

In fact, very few of the men who call the Men’s Referral Service are clear that they have a problem. Even fewer are certain about what the problem is.

Most men who call the Men’s Referral Service do so for many different reasons, for example:

  • they have a feeling that something isn't quite right
  • somebody else has suggested they call 
  • some sort of crisis has happened (for example, their partner has left them).

Our telephone counsellors can help you to talk about what is bothering you, and to explore your options.

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Not sure that the problem can be overcome

Men sometimes feel that their behaviour can't be changed — especially when they're in a crisis or feeling really bad, or when they’ve been using violence for much of their life. We won't pretend that overcoming problems is easy, but we know that with the right support, men can start to do things differently.

You certainly won't be transformed overnight. And you won't be able to undo what you've done in the past. But your future can be different if you reach out now. Talking with a Men’s Referral Service telephone counsellor might give you the chance to work out what your options are, and get some different perspectives.

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Worry about confidentiality

The Men’s Referral Service is a confidential and anonymous service. You don't have to tell us your name or anything else that might identify you.

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