Chances are, if you think you might have been using violence or control, your partner and kids will be feeling lots of difficult emotions as well. They might be feeling fear and a loss of power, dignity and control. They might feel like they're walking on eggshells — worried about what you might do or say to hurt them next.

Your behaviour might also be having other effects on your partner. Her health, mental health and wellbeing are likely to be suffering, regardless of whether your behaviour includes physical violence.

Of course, using any form of violence against a partner also has an enormous impact on children. If your partner is scared of you, this doesn't just affect her and you. Research has shown it also affects your own relationship with your kids, and their health and wellbeing now and into the future.