Thinking about your behaviour
Now, or in the past, have you ever:
- Called your partner names and/or criticised her?
- Screamed, shouted or ranted at your partner?
- Made your partner feel stupid or dumb after she expressed her thoughts or opinions?
- Tried to keep your partner from doing something that she wanted to do? (Like wearing an outfit you didn't feel good about, going out with friends, having a job or doing some study)
- Taken charge of the finances, perhaps by strictly controlling household spending or not allowing your partner money for her own personal use?
- Slapped, hit, pushed or shoved your partner — or threatened to?
- Thrown something in your partner's presence, perhaps a chair or a glass or crockery?
- Accused your partner of paying too much attention to someone else?
- Pressured your partner or any other woman to have sex when she didn't want to?
- Followed or watched your partner without her knowledge?
- Checked up on your partner's movements (perhaps by phoning or texting her constantly or at odd hours)?
- Made your children feel bad about themselves, perhaps by telling them that they're useless or no good?
- Made your partner and or kids feel scared?
All couples disagree and argue from time to time, but the actions above aren't signs of healthy relationship conflict. Rather, they're acts of violence and control.
If you have used any of these acts against your current or ex-partner or kids, or fear that you might use them against your next partner, we strongly urge you to keep reading and to call the Men’s Referral Service.
